"True" Friendship

Whenever I get this in an email, I always think of Brenda M.

A Gary Larson cartoon from “The Far Side” summed up our friendship best. Remember the one with the two bears in the crosshairs of a hunter’s rifle, and one bear is grinning and pointing at the other bear? Yep. That’s us.


None of That Flowery Crap.

Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship – just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

When you are sad
I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue
I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile
I will know you finally got laid.

When you are scared
I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining

When you are confused
I will use little words

When you are sick
Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.

When you fall
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath . . . I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask; “because you are my friend”.


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