"True" Friendship

Whenever I get this in an email, I always think of Brenda M.

A Gary Larson cartoon from “The Far Side” summed up our friendship best. Remember the one with the two bears in the crosshairs of a hunter’s rifle, and one bear is grinning and pointing at the other bear? Yep. That’s us.

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None of That Flowery Crap.

Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship – just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

When you are sad
I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue
I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile
I will know you finally got laid.

When you are scared
I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining

When you are confused
I will use little words

When you are sick
Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.

When you fall
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath . . . I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask; “because you are my friend”.

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