Ah, the cynical NYer thing.

“Just Add Roaches – New York Times

Just Add Roaches

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It’s 1977 New York in a “Saturday Night Fever” rental.
By SETH KUGEL
Published: September 2, 2007

TRAVELING is fun, except for the traveling part. If you live in Alaska or North Dakota or somewhere else where dashing to New York for the weekend seems a bit extravagant in these days of six-hour runway waits, it’s time to bring the city to you. (And not just in the form of presidential candidates like Mr. Giuliani and Ms. Clinton.) We’re talking about a weekend in a virtual New York City, a. k. a. your own home.

For the sake of argument, let’s say you live in a suburban house, own a car, belong to Netflix and have the disposable income to pay $4 for a bagel. Adjust as necessary.

THE MENU

Friday dinner: Consider all the great New York dishes you could whip up at home — something from Danny Meyer and Michael Romano’s “Union Square Cafe Cookbook,” a Peter Luger-quality porterhouse, a big fat hot pastrami on rye. But just consider it, because cooking is out of the question. Order in Chinese.

Saturday breakfast: Order H & H bagels in advance via Federal Express from http://www.hhbagels.com. They’re pricey — two dozen for $59.95, delivery included, but they arrive in a state approximating fresh. (Sticker shock is part of the experience, anyway; they cost $1.10 each in New York.) Optional: Smoked salmon from Zabar’s: $42 a pound, plus shipping.

Saturday lunch: Find the nearest Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs, which started in Coney Island but is now in 19 states. Eat a “bigger than the bun” dog, or go for Joey Chestnut’s record of 66 wieners in 12 minutes.

Saturday dinner: Order in pizza. Eat. When just scraps are left, release live cockroaches into the pizza box. (Cockroaches are available at http://www.wardsci.com; 10 for $19.95 or 50 for $79.99.)”

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